What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

I Want To Be A Metronome

Not a metronome app or the electronic version, but an actual metronome. I want to be steady but allow myself to feel the space in the transitions.

I had been using a metronome app and before I knew it, I was embodying one myself, snapping anxiously between the beeps to arrive at the “right” time. Now I want to practice with a real metronome and be one too, feeling the entire arc of motion.

I don’t want to focus on the beep, I want to live in the arc.

(The things that live between the moments are as real as the moments themselves)

The beep is just a sharp noise that sometimes feels like a friend, sometimes an enemy. I want to meet the beep, sure. But on my terms. I want to feel the acceleration, the deceleration, the gravity, the suspension, the return.

There’s something sacred in that arc. The time where nothing is demanded but everything is possible.

I want to live with curiosity inside the transition instead of bracing through it.

Support is the tempo. Curiosity is the phrasing. Even my feet have started writing their own small poems into the floor.

To be a metronome is to trust that the beat will find its way to you, because the body is already listening.

To be steady, warm, quietly in charge of nothing at all.

The beep is just one moment in time.

The real music is the movement.