Art is a way of living, not escaping

Ever since I can remember, I wanted to escape. I didn’t enjoy existence, mostly because I didn’t ask for it. I never got the choice, and I think I’ll always feel a little powerless about the fact that I had to go to school and now have to pay bills until I die. I’ve found many reasons to stay alive, mostly to do my best to help other people who didn’t ask for existence either. If I can help, then there is at least one reason I am here.

But it took me quite a while to arrive at this place. And early on in my life, I just wanted to escape. I was placed in weird schools with teachers that gave me the serious ick. So when music and I discovered each other, hot damn was that beautiful! When I put my headphones on, I went somewhere else. It wasn’t my life, it wasn’t this earth: it was somewhere wholly new and different and, to me, much better. Not to go all TM, but I am pretty sure this was my first introduction to the unified field. When I listened to music, I could feel the core of the earth, the infinity of the cosmos, and my soul or something like it.

But I didn’t really understand that at the time. All I could sense was that life is bad and music is good. And music became my great escape.

Like all escapes, it works for a while until it doesn’t. Whatever your weapon of choice is to run away, it will eventually carry you right back to whatever it is that you are running from. And I’m a great learner, but I am a slow learner. I think for years I was circling around and around trying to side step some of these heavy and bad feelings.

It all clicked into place recently that art is not a way of escaping but it is a way of living. When I write these words and read them aloud, a tremendous wave of peace washes over me (and no sand either!). Let’s say it again. Art is a way of living, not escaping.

I am here, in this existence, for some or many reasons. Maybe I will feel strongly about these reasons sometimes. Maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll never learn the true reason in this lifetime or next (please no more lifetimes, though!). I have to accept that something is going on here, and if I try to escape, I won’t be able to.

So I choose to use music to live and be a kind person to my friends, family, enemies, the earth, and all of God’s creatures and creations. We can’t escape pain and grief and all these things. But we can go through them, learn a lot along the way, and come out on the other side with a smile and zeal to help one other through.

I am here for you how I can be,

Benny