What are the songs about? “Department Of Healing” (2024)

One of the most challenging things about releasing instrumental music is having the trust that it will connect with listeners. Songs with words are so much easier. We are all confident in our abilities with language, so if a song has words, we immediately get the context.

I believe we all have abilities to hear pure music and know what it means. But we sometimes don’t trust these gut feelings or haven’t really considered how to develop them. And that’s okay and that’s normal. But there is an infinite universe of feeling in listening to music that we might be missing out on.

I write and record instrumental music to try and leave space for a listener to create and understand their own meaning from it. We are a partnership. But since this blog is written with words, I figured I’d tell you what in the hell I was trying to do with some songs I’ve released.

Let’s start with a three song collection I released in 2024 that I called “Department of Healing.”

I wrote these songs pretty soon after I had discovered that I had Musician’s Focal Dystonia of the hand. I foolishly thought at the time that music would be my way out. It might still be-we never really know what life has in store for us. But I remember thinking at the time that if I could put my pain into chords, I’d see my way through.

The first song on the record is the title track, “Department of Healing.” The inspiration came from being on hold while trying to buy the world’s worst health insurance plan. Being put on hold, being transferred from person to person, two factor authentication, etc. To quote Tony Soprano, my Halloween costume this year, “it’s enough to make a person scream.” So while listening to the surprisingly low fidelity hold music, I let myself imagine an actual place you could check in to heal. I pictured the parking lot, the columns at the entrance, the front desk and intake forms to fill out. And I pictured myself accepting help. I picked up my bass, hung up the phone, went to the studio, and this is what came out. I recorded a theme song for a place that doesn’t exist.

The next song is one of my favorites that I’ve ever recorded, titled “Whatever Bass You Have, You Still Have To Play It.” Damn do I love what I was able to put on tape here. I wanted to record a song about acceptance that also captures the energy of fighting it. I think a lot about this concept: trying and not trying. Our lives are always better when we accept things as they unfold, but we also need to try to make things as beautiful as we can. We have a lot of control over our reactions to circumstances and at the same time we have no control over anything. There is a duality in all things. It goes beyond words (see what I mean about music accessing something deeper than language?). Whatever bass you have, whatever hand you are dealt, etc…you still have to play it.

The last song is called “Salmon, Goat Cheese, & Hunny.” Yes I know I spelled “honey” incorrectly. This one is very personal to me and it does feel weird to share what it’s about so publicly but here goes nothing…I wrote it about a night that has a memory I keep coming back to again and again. I had played a gig in Marietta, GA and drove home through a big early summer storm. The sky was wide open and the rain felt biblical. When I arrived at my house, the power was out. Nothing quite like coming home from work to total darkness and hot sticky humidity. There were three of us in the house at the time-myself, my then partner, and my dog Chopin. I fixed us all a snack of smoked salmon from Costco, goat cheese, and honey. We ate it, smiled, and listened to the rain with the windows open. Life is made up of moments and moments last a lifetime.

I got some great reviews on this record and I’m so happy that it connected with so many people. For some reason, it is very very popular in Belgium. I even had a Swiftie write me saying that she listened to this record almost as much as Taylor (!!!) and that it got her through the worst year of her life. All I ever wanted was to make music that would help support other people when they needed it, so this was huge for me.

If you haven’t listened to this record, I hope you give it a shot. The whole thing is only 7 minutes long, so you’ve probably spent more time reading this blog than it would take to listen to the whole thing. But don’t think about what I was trying to do while you listen. Think about what it means to you, where it connects with your soul (or where it doesn’t). Observe your feelings and reactions to music and know that you are developing a new and deeper way to listen. Not just to my bass playing, but to yourself, and to all things.